This si going to be a rant. Shocking, I know. But I’m turning fifty in three months, and life is pissing me off. My knees are going, I can’t find a day job worth a damn, and my daughter is turning into a young lady right beofre my eyes and that terrifies me in this country, let alone this world. So what’s the last thing I need in my life, let alone in my writing and fandom world? A sphincter of assholes.

We have lots of terms for multiples of things:A swarm of bees. A herd of cattle. A murder of crows. I’m adding a new one:a sphincter of assholes. Because frankly,I need that term for the amount fo them I’m encountering online, running some of the aspects of fandoms.

To be fair, these are not people I’ve really encountered in person. Most of the people I’ve encountered running things at cons aren’t assholes unless you force them to be. People like Misty Massey, Joey Starnes, Matt Starnes and John Hartness have all gone out of their way to treat people like they want to be treated. And yes, they’ll be blunt when they need to be. I get that, especially as a parent. Some days you need milk to herd cats, some days you need barbed wire fences to prevent a stampede.

My problem is with people I’ve encountered this past couple of weeks who have repped their positions as panel runners, track runners or show runners in their profiles, and then gone out of their way to be dicks online. I get there should be a separation between our private and personal lives, but here’s a newsflash: most of the time,there isn’t.

So why should we care, Trevor? You’re just a struggling writer, who’s only ever managed to get two stories published, and neither of those paid. You’re turning fifty anyway, why should we care about anything that happens to your WASP(White Angry Swede Pagan) hide anyway?

Because that’s me, today. Tomorrow or next year, I might get lucky and hit that major publisher contract or story getting published. I might be the guy you want at ___Con 2021. How many people were clamoring for Patrick Rothfuss before Name of the Wind? Not saying I’m that good, but I might get there, if I work at it.

I told my kids a story before they all left to go to college or out int he wide world. I’ll tell you it now. In 1992, I was a new student at Columbia College in downtown Chicago. By fortune, my teacher for a Communications 101 class was the legendary Terry Brunner, director of the BGA, an awesome investigative body. He ended up turning me on to journalism, and taught me so much in this world. He isn’t important to this story(but the BGA is, if you live in Illinois and love good journalism, go donate to
https://www.bettergov.org/ ) but his class is. We had a kid in our class, a young filmmaker right out of Krakow, Poland. We’d never seen is stuff, but he was there on scholarship, and struggling with writing, since English was not his native language. You cna see where this is going, but that guy’s name is Janusz Kaminski. He’s got a grip of Oscars, and is Spielberg’s cinematographer. Don’t blame him for allthe lens flares though, that’s Abrams idea.

My point is. to quote Michelle McNamara(RIP), it’s chaos. Be kind. Think before you speak or post anything online. I know , I know, there are folks saying, why don’t you take your own advice, and they’re right. But I’m trying. I’m getting out there more and doing more. I’ve run things at gaming cons before, and I’ve been a dick at times,but I had much more of a hair trigger then. Hard to believe, I know. But if you see someone you know in those positions being an asshole, and you’re their friend, don’t let it slide. Cut it off at the pass. Because people remember, folks. And yeah, you might be big and bad right now, large and in charge, but guess what? That passes. Everything ends. And people like me, who are small and just finding that voice? We remember.

So take a chill pill folks. Think before you speak, and have some regard for your fellow person. Manners are the lubrication that eases the social gears, so use them. Be the Preparation H to the sphincters of assholes out there now.